{Rob Ford's Toronto}

Rob Ford's Toronto

Rob Ford.

Oh Lord!

A fat man

Without a tan.

No more gravy? That means you too!

After all, it’s not like you’re eating for two.

Look what you’ve done to our fair city.

What a pity!

The laughing stock.

A place that even Saskatchewanians mock.

No Pride parade?

Remember how you’re getting paid.

Cottages are cool

But why not come back a little early, you fool!

Look what you’ve done.

You’re taking away all the fun.

No Riverdale Farm.

No Toronto Zoo.

I wish an elephant would take a poo on you.

It’s so sad you’re our mayor.

It just isn’t fair.

I knew amalgamation was lame.

I knew it would never be the same.

Go back to Etobicoke

Cause you seriously blow!

{Canada adopts internet metering}

Canada adopts internet metering

Oh, Canada.

Our home and backwards land.

Have we got our heads in the sand?

Internet metering will take us back in time.

Simply put, it’s a crime.

The big 3 are slime.

Out to squeeze another dime.

Bureaucracies finally get their shit together.

Online efficiencies better late than never. But let’s throw it all away.

Let them have their way.

We’ll count every byte,

We’ll be that country that fell behind without a fight.

The one that traded high-speed for snail mail.

And paid their bills with a paper trail.

The CRTC is crazy.

Or are they lazy?

Or are they slaves to a lobby?

They should be sent on their merry way,

Or we’ll be the ones made to pay.

{Vatican urges coverups}

Vatican urges coverups

Altar boys, rejoice!

You finally have a voice.

It may not be as loud as you want,

But those bishops, it’s sure to taunt.

Progress. That’s something, right?

Unfortunate events brought to light.

Excuses, they’ll sure try.

It’s enough to make anyone cry.

Plenty of reason to scoff.

Oh religion, where do you get off?

Living in your own little bubble,

You’ve sure gotten into a whole lot of trouble.

Canon law, my ass.

Its enforcement is just plain crass.

Pedophiles with power.

Like a birthday party clown.

Hundreds of children cower.

It’s about time you be taken down.

Who even believes in you anymore?

Your practices dated and abhorred.